


Familiarity

by bornforwar_archivist



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2019-08-01 11:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16283921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By CarlyA chemical attraction causes a lot of problems with Xena et al.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).

“Black Coat is coming on Monday,” Xena announced in a voice of doom. “I just thought you’d better know, so that when I’m not back here that evening, you’ll know why.”

 

“Who?” Gabrielle answered distractedly. “You’ve picked up a new man already? Well, I guess I won’t see you for a week, then . . .”

 

Xena looked at her flatmate with righteous indignation. “You’re not listening to me, are you?”

 

“No, no, I’m not,” Gabrielle admitted in desperation. “Xena, have you seen a CD, a black one, lying around?”

 

“Black with silver writing?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“You’ve got your foot on it.”

 

Gabrielle gave out a howl and jumped back in horror. “Oh, is it going to be all right –“ She moved to pick it up, but Xena grabbed it first.

 

“I said,” she repeated between gritted teeth, “that Black Coat will be at work on Monday.”

 

Gabrielle reached out a hand gingerly. “Bl-black Coat. As in the guy who closed down half the IT divisions in the country, thereby saving his corporation billions of dollars?”

 

“Right,” Xena replied grimly, allowing Gabrielle to grab the CD and brush it tenderly. “He has been hired by  _my_  corporation in order to investigate  _my_  IT division.”

 

“Ow,” Gabrielle said sympathetically. Then she hesitated. “You’re really going to want to take your mind off it all tonight, aren’t you?”

 

Xena raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

 

“I mean, I can tell this man has been preying on your thoughts for quite some time now. So really, you can’t want to think much further about him, are you? It’ll just drive you mad.”

 

“Why so thoughtful?” Xena asked sweetly, then suddenly snatched the CD out of her friend’s hand. “Hmm?”

 

“Xena!” Gabrielle howled.

 

“Spill it.”

 

“All right, all right! I need one extra person for my research project tonight. Need? I’m utterly desperate! I’ve got my presentation tonight, and the director’s going to be wandering round the building, and he’ll know if I haven’t got a significant number in my research project . . .”

 

“No. Way.”

 

“Come on, Xena!” Gabrielle begged. “If I don’t get this research approved, I’m out of a job! Please? Think of all the things I do for you!”

 

“Thinking hard,” Xena replied, frowning. “Nope – and nope, and not that, either.”

 

“Xena! Think of how awful it will be having me sulking round the place all the day without a job!”

 

“You’ve got to work for the dole now, didn’t you know?” Xena answered helpfully. She fended off Gabrielle’s half-hearted blow. “All right, all right. But you definitely owe me.”

 

“Oh, of course, whatever you want!” Gabrielle promised, relieved. “You’re the best, you know that?”

 

“Of course I do,” Xena grumbled. “Can we go already?”


	2. Chapter 2

“If you’d make your way to the testing rooms?”

 

Xena followed the rest of the crowd from the foyer of Gabrielle’s building into a broad corridor, floor and walls as white as a hospital, lit with fluorescent lights. She peered down at the piece of paper Gabrielle had shoved into her hand. Number 25 – and it was there on her right.

 

The room was tiny, and white like the rest of the building. Flimsy white walls, with a flimsy white fold-up chair, and cream carpet.

 

Apparently they were supposed to rate a bunch of men on how memorable they were. Xena doubted that she’d be able to remember anyone at all, considering how distracted she was. Well, if Gabrielle’s research flopped, it would be all Black Coat’s fault. She hadn’t even met him yet, and he was already ruining her life.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey,” Xena replied warily as a strange white-coated man stepped into the small room. “Well, if I’ve met you before, I don’t remember it.”

 

“Just circle the zero,” the man directed helpfully, and disappeared again. Xena shrugged, but obeyed.

 

She didn’t want Black Coat to alter anything, not a thing about her IT team. She liked it exactly as it was. What she had to do was take charge of the situation, immediately. She had to win his trust somehow, so that he’d never suspect a thing from her . . . there was no way she was allowing him to have this kind of power over her!

 

“Hello?”

 

“Oh, hi . . .” Xena began, then blinked. “Do I know you?”

 

“Try circling the two.”

 

The problem was that he was going to be as suspicious of her as she was of him. She knew that he was as wary of strangers as she – maybe even more.

 

Xena sighed. Ever since she’d read about this guy in the weekend papers, and seen him at the edges of the TV screen as another bunch of IT professionals wept and were dragged from in front of their computers, she’d known that he was going to be trouble, trouble for her. She just hoped she’d be just as troublesome to him. At least she had the factor of surprise . . .

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi!” Xena replied warmly, moving forward. “Now I’m quite sure we’ve met –“

 

“Circle the five.”

 

She wondered whether he would be wearing his black coat the entire time. Did he ever take it off, or was it glued onto those broad shoulders? Maybe it came with the shirt and suit. It certainly seemed to be made just for him, the way it fit him, anyway.

 

“Hello?”

 

“What?”

 

“Circle the zero.”

 

After ten more encounters with strangers, near-strangers and what seemed to be old friends, Xena found herself thoroughly confused. Well, except about one fact; thinking about Black Coat had just consumed another evening.

 

There was another knock.

 

“Hey, Xena – how’d it go?”

 

Xena looked up, and saw Gabrielle. “Is it over yet?”

 

“Nearly,” Gabrielle grinned. “Hand over your paper, and head back to the foyer. I’ll meet you afterwards; I’ve got my presentation now.”

 

“Oh, good luck!” Xena exclaimed. “Can I watch?”

 

Gabrielle hesitated. “I don’t see why not. You might find it interesting, but you’ll have to promise not to leak all our secrets to our rivals. Follow me –“

 

She led Xena to a small, cream-carpeted room, furnished with a dozen plastic chairs and a low brown table. There were already a few people milling round inside, while a young assistant was frantically trying to get the data projector to work.

 

“Have a seat near the front,” Gabrielle hissed. “That guy right up the back is the director – it’ll be his decision whether to continue the product or not.”

 

Xena nodded, and sat back while Gabrielle fixed the projector and laid out her notes. She looked fairly calm, but Xena saw that her friend’s hands were shaking.

 

“Excuse me? If everyone could take a seat?”

 

Her voice was pitched high with nervousness, too, Xena noted. Everyone settled quickly, and looked towards Gabrielle with interest.

 

“You may have noticed a number of participants in our initial research study wandering these corridors tonight,” Gabrielle began. “The research we have done on our new scent has been very interesting, and I will tell you more about our results in a moment.”

 

“In the Nineties, the break-through in the perfume industry was of course the application of pheromone research. Suddenly here was a scent that would help the wearer attract the opposite sex, simply by the application of a subtle perfume. It seemed to be the very thing, after all, that someone would buy perfume for – finding someone to have sex with, to put it bluntly.”

 

Xena sat back, enjoying herself. She had never heard Gabrielle say the word sex so many times in such a short span of time. Nor had she ever seen her friend blush so much.

 

“But wearing pig pheromones did not bring about exactly what the researchers imagined,” Gabrielle went on, frowning at Xena’s smirks. “Smelling of sex was actually kind of embarrassing for people. And the scent simply couldn’t be worn anywhere near farms; it was far too dangerous.”

 

Xena gave a snort of laughter, but swallowed it when Gabrielle subjected her to a poisonous glare.

 

“Some perfumes laboratories have turned instead to creating synthetic pheromones, in order to remove some of the unpleasant factors of the scent. Here at Amoraroma, however, we have taken quite a different approach. Rather than spend all our time cooking chemicals, we go out amongst the people, and try to think what our customers – the ordinary girl and guy – would like to wear. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to step out smelling like I’ve just come from a bordello.”

 

A low murmur followed this, and Gabrielle relaxed a little, nodding and smiling.

 

“Let’s face it – perfume isn’t directly about sex, it’s about romance! That feeling you have when you know the other person inside out – when you’re finishing one another’s sentences, knowing what the other person is thinking without them having to say a thing. It’s when you look at someone – even when you’ve never met – and yet it’s as though they’re an old and dear friend. It’s all about familiarity.”

 

Xena sat back. Her mouth dropped open. She  _hadn’t_  known any of the researchers who had entered the research room. It had been their perfume which made her think so.

 

“And that’s what Amoraroma have created –  _Familiarity_ ,” Gabrielle finished simply. She held up a small vial of clear liquid. “Wearing this scent will change the pickup line “don’t I know you?” forever. Our preliminary research has supported our findings; 89% of the participants were certain that they had previously met the lab assistants who were wearing our scent. We are certain that further research will replicate these results, and that  _Familiarity_  will be the breakthrough in perfume research for the new century.”

 

There was an enthusiastic applause, and then a rush of curious questions. Xena sat back, stunned. Gabrielle had definitely saved her own job – but it looked as though she might well have saved Xena’s, too.


	3. Chapter 3

“Gabrielle, I’m ready to call in that favour.”

 

Gabrielle stared at her friend as Xena slid the car expertly into their narrow carport and pulled the car to a stop. “But it’s less than five hours after I asked it of you!”

 

“What, there’s a time limit now?” Xena asked in an injured tone. “You did promise I could ask anything of you.” She threw her friend a glance, and drew herself out of the car, heading towards the front door of their shared apartment.

 

Gabrielle groaned, moving quickly after her. “It was a figure of speech!”

 

“Ha. Funny that it’s never hyperbole when I’m the one who owes you the favour.” Xena hesitated in the open door. “I thought your speech was great, by the way.”

 

Gabrielle groaned again. “Flattery!”

 

Xena smirked. “I really need this favour.”

 

“This is about Black Coat, isn’t it?” Gabrielle demanded. “He hasn’t even arrived on the scene and he’s destroying our lives!”

 

That comment mirrored Xena’s earlier thoughts so closely that she was almost frightened. “Don’t say that. All right, it is about Black Coat, but he’s not ruining anything. Not if you help me out, anyway.”

 

They headed into the kitchen and straight for the fridge – the packets of milk and dark tim-tams sat on alternate shelves. They were both open.

 

“I thought you were saving them for the weekend?” Gabrielle accused Xena.

 

“When I found out about Black Coat, my sugar level dropped alarmingly,” Xena told her gloomily. “I needed the cocoa.” Then her eyes narrowed. “I thought you were waiting till after your presentation?”

 

“I needed my comfort food!” Gabrielle wailed. “I wore that new perfume I created to the shops this morning – and a really cute shop assistant asked me what scent I was wearing.”

 

“You needed comfort after that? You really do need to get out more.”

 

“Well, when I told him I’d made it myself, he didn’t ask me for a date. He asked me to leave, because it was making his eyes water!”

 

Xena crunched the end of her biscuit, and sighed, while Gabrielle dipped her own chocolate into a cup of coffee.

 

“Friday counts as weekend, anyway,” Xena decided. “Almost.”

 

“So what’s your favour?” Gabrielle asked finally, her mouth full of crumbs.

 

Xena licked a smudge of dark chocolate from the corner of her mouth. “Lend me some of your perfume.”

 

“You can borrow any of them!” Gabrielle cried, relieved. “I’ve got enough bottles of the stuff, but I thought you preferred the French scents . . .”

 

“Not those perfumes, I mean the one you were talking about tonight! Familiarity.”

 

“Oh.”

 

There was a silence, then Gabrielle shook her head firmly.

 

“I can’t, Xena. We sign a contract saying we won’t wear the stuff while it’s still in research stage. It’s too dangerous – if any of our rivals get a whiff of it, we’re done.”

 

“Oh come on! I don’t hang round perfume manufacturers, just computer nerds!”

 

“A contract is a contract,” Gabrielle replied primly, stuffing the rest of her biscuit in her mouth.

 

“And a friend is a friend,” Xena retorted. “Until she breaks a sworn promise, that is.”

 

“That’s not fair!”

 

“Black Coat kicking me out of a job isn’t fair either!”

 

“Oh, would you stop calling him that!” Gabrielle shouted. “You might as well call him Baddie or something!”

 

“No need to lose your temper.”

 

“Xena!”

 

“I’m just asking one small favour – which you owe me – and which will save my job. That’s all.”

 

“XENA!”

 

Xena popped the last crumb of dark chocolate in her mouth and headed for the doorway.

 

“See you in the morning.”

 

A small vial of clear liquid was outside her bedroom door the very next morning.


	4. Chapter 4

“I  _know_  you,” Xena murmured, looking into Black Coat’s melting brown eyes.

 

He’d walked into her division, headed straight for her, and when she’d looked up at him it was instant recognition. Damn it, she was sure she knew him!

 

Then she remembered  _Familiarity_.

 

Oh. It was just the perfume. Apparently it wasn’t supposed to have an effect on the wearer, but she’d sprayed quite a bit on. So this sense she had – of going way, way, back with this man – was just synthetic. The way it was designed, a hint of lavender as familiar as mother’s floral hat, a reminisce of sandalwood like father’s workshop. Close, so close, like the warmth of a hand . . .

 

Like his hand, clasping hers. Oh, she knew it!

 

“I know,” he murmured back.

 

At least it was having the same effect on him. If she couldn’t stop looking – well, either could he. And neither of them seemed to have the will-power to release the other’s hand.

 

“Ares Theos,” the man said finally. “I’m here for the audit?”

 

“Of course. I’m Xena Cyrene, head of the division. Sit down, and I’ll fam-familiarise you with some of our workings here.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Xena pulled out a chair for him, and then headed quickly to the small kitchenette to seek coffee – and some fresh air. She desperately reminded herself of the innate evil within this man. All the people he’d sacked, the companies left in disarray, the destructive smile which accompanied his wicked acts . . .

 

She sighed then, before banging her head firmly against the kitchen cupboards. She had to get a grip. Finishing the coffees hurriedly, she returned to her desk, and set them down with a thump.

 

“I think,” she began softly, “you’ll find that our division is extremely efficient, and most useful to our company. I don’t let anything slide – not a thing.”

 

“Oh, I believe you,” Ares assured her, with the beginnings of a smile.

 

“You can have free and open access to any computers here today, including my own. I’m sure you’ll come to the same conclusion – we work hard and fast here, and I run a  _very_  tight ship.”

 

“Hard and fast is exactly how I like it,” Ares replied, nodding. “I’m sure I’ll be more than satisfied.”

 

She left him at it, then, not able to trust herself further. He spent the rest of the day hunched over her computer, reading figures and analysing projects. Xena found that she had to remind herself she was wearing  _Familiarity_  about five times a minute. Especially when he finally took off his black coat.

 

Xena deliberately used a lot less perfume the next day, after complaining to Gabrielle about the strength of the stuff. Her friend gave her a blank look, then reminded her that the scent was still at research stage.

 

“You haven’t mentioned –“

 

“Of course I haven’t!” Xena answered, irritated. “And why does it smell different to the stuff the guys were wearing on that night?”

 

“You wanted to wear a men’s perfume?” Gabrielle returned.

 

“Oh. Well, make sure you analyse this side-effect, it could be dangerous.”

 

“Personally I think it’s the black coat that’s dangerous –“ Gabrielle muttered, but subsided at Xena’s evil glance. “I’ll look into it.”

 

Black Coat – Ares – stayed all week long. Sometimes he spent hours at the computers, at other times he questioned terrified employees. He also had lunch every day with Xena, and she discovered that it didn’t make any difference how much  _Familiarity_  that she wore. He had the same mesmerising effect on her all the same – and she, it seemed, had the same effect on him.

 

“I’ll be able to give a good report to your company about your division,” he told her on the Friday. “You really are the best division manager I’ve met – I was expecting to have to do another closure.” He looked slightly disappointed.

 

 _It worked!_  Xena thought jubilantly. He’d no longer be a colleague in a week, too, and she’d be able to ask him out.

 

“There is a way out of that, though,” he told her. “Change a few figures, here and there, I mean. Your response rates are just too good – unbelievably good. If you altered them . . .”

 

Xena frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“You’re too good for your job, Xena! Leave this place, and come work with me,” Ares offered excitedly. “You’d be fantastic – you’ve got this aura about you. You’d be able to walk into any division and sack the place, taking no prisoners! I know you’ve got it in you . . .”

 

Xena shuddered. Just as he spoke those words she was able to see it, and she knew in that instant that he was right – she did have it in her. She’d never realised it before, and it was an uncomfortable knowledge.

 

“So what you’re saying is that I should change a few facts and figures, give you an excuse to close the place down, so that you could offer me a job – and perhaps add to your reputation of sacking half the IT units in the country?”

 

Ares leant back and smiled. “Got it in one.”

 

“No, thanks,” Xena replied sweetly. “I like it here.”

 

“What?” Ares looked dumbfounded.

 

“I like my IT division, and I’m happy not travelling around the country putting people out of work.”

 

“But – but – this is so small!” Ares argued. “You could have the whole world at your feet, and you choose this?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Ares moved forward. “Come on, Xena – what happens if I alter the figures myself, and put you out of work, then?”

 

“You can’t. I’ve saved your final report in a file you’ll never find. And you can’t get access to the building again if I change the security codes.”

 

Ares laughed and shook his head. “You really are one of a kind . . . come on, you’d love it, I know you would!”

 

Xena raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I would. But I’d prefer not to find out.”

 

He shrugged then, and rose to leave. Then he hesitated.

 

“Have dinner with me next week?”

 

“Sure.”


	5. Chapter 5

Gabrielle put up with two and a half hours of Xena’s raving that evening, sliding dark chocolate tim-tams over to her at regular intervals and refraining from sucking her coffee up through her own tim-tam in the way that generally grossed Xena out.

 

“I don’t know what formula you put into that perfume you gave me, but it was entirely too strong!” Xena wailed. “I can’t believe what it made me do!”

 

“Do? You did exactly the right thing, and got the result you wanted,” Gabrielle pointed out.

 

“I’m going out with a sadist!”

 

“Perhaps, but he does look good in that coat –“

 

“Gabrielle!”

 

Her friend hesitated, then bit her lip.

 

“Xena, if I tell you something about that perfume, do you promise not to kill me?”

 

Xena stared. Then her eyes narrowed.

 

“Gabrielle . . .”

 

“Do you promise?”

 

“I promise not to actually physically kill you, yes. Spill it!”

 

“It was water.”

 

Xena looked at her. “What?”

 

“I couldn’t give you the real stuff, I would’ve got into trouble!” Gabrielle explained rapidly. “So I just gave you – well, it was water, with a bit of floral scent in it.”

 

“You’re telling me that it wasn’t the perfume? You’re saying we just – reacted like that? Oh no!!” Xena buried her head in her hands.

 

Gabrielle alternately patted her friend and made soothing noises, before handing her another tim-tam.

 

“It may have been the black coat,” she offered.

 

“Hmph.” Xena raised her head. “Maybe.”

 

“The director decided not to go ahead with  _Familiarity_ , anyway,” Gabrielle admitted. “He thought it might be too dangerous to release to the general public.”

 

“You’re not going to lose your job, are you?”

 

“No – actually, I’ve got another project up my sleeve. That perfume I was working on before – the one that made the cute guy’s eyes water?”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“I adjusted the solution, and went back to the shop.” Gabrielle’s nose wrinkled as she smiled. “I got a date –  _and_ a winning formula.”

 

“Oh, so that’s where you were last night!” Xena exclaimed. “Well, congratulations. What are you going to call it?”

 

“I was thinking, maybe –  _Black Coat_?” 


End file.
